It is a time-honored tradition to celebrate a birthday by dining out and whispering to the waiter about the occasion, hopefully resulting in treatment that will either make the birthday person feel special or embarrass the living daylights out of him or her.

Of course, restaurants all have their own ways of doing this, ranging from discreet boxes of chocolate to free sundaes to waiters gathered around clapping – and they can just hope that their gestures meet your expectations.

Last month, I took my husband for a birthday dinner at Nicholas in Red Bank, an elegant restaurant that consistently ranks tops in the New Jersey Zagat guide. I told the reservationist that it was his birthday, and she said something about a candle with dessert, pointedly adding: “We do not sing, but we like to make a culinary fuss.”

This made me laugh out loud – especially when I saw the hushed restaurant. Who would expect to be serenaded there?

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